In this apartment at least. After I lost my children I really wasn't in the mood to decorate for Christmas anymore. I didn't see any point to it. I grew up without Christmas at all and only started because of my oldest daughter. I could have cared less about it personally, but when she started coming home from daycare commenting about Christmas I knew I couldn't leave her hanging. So, I bought a stocking at the Dollar Tree and filled it up with Crayons and Cookies and Candy and cheap dolls and stuff. For decorations I took all those Christmas cards I got from people I worked with and my Grandparents who never did seem to get the 'we don't celebrate Christmas' comment that seriously... and tacked them up to the wall. Over the years Christmas grew into a regular ordeal pretty much like everyone else does it. I guess. I'm not sure how other people do it. Haha. But, all that ended when I lost my children. I understandably wasn't in the mood. I bought my kids gifts and gave them to them. But, my home was devoid of any Christmas Cheer.
It's been 3 years and this is my first Christmas in this apartment and the idea came to me that I need Christmas cheer. Maybe. I don't know. I'm torn, is it weird for a single woman living alone in the city to decorate for the Holidays? I mean I will most likely be spending the Holidays with my boyfriend and his family. And I will not be having anyone over to my place unless it's my boyfriend for some pre-Holiday hanky panky... so decorating would be for just me. And if it is perfectly okay... then just how far is too weird. Like a Christmas tree. Does that look like I'm hoping for some presents under it? Or a stocking... does it then look pathetic if never filled? And I know I said no one would see, but what if someone does see? And is it okay to put presents you are giving to other people that are never going to be coming over underneath your tree?
I am interested in hearing from both other single (or people in relationships that live alone) and people with families or living with their significant other.
